More names, also not taken

So, I totally love names and thinking about names, to the point that it's almost a hobby. Stephanie might be slightly less obsessive in collecting and researching names, but only slightly, and she's always up for discussing new things.

So, it should not be surprising that our reject list is long and filled with many are put aside only with great regret. However, since we are not planning on adopting an orphanage of fifty children, it is probably a good thing!

Anyway, it's time for another round of names which we are not using.

If I had a son eight years ago, I would have named him Tristan. I would still stand by this as an excellent name if it weren't for the immense popularity of the name, especially for little girls, which I can't get over the wrongness of because for me it's just like naming a girl "Romeo." (Note: no offense to any potential, lurking readers who named their little girls Tristan. This, as all blog posts, are one woman's opinions and I fully respect another person's right to different opinions. De gustibus non est disputandum and all that.)

If it weren't horribly aliterative with our last name, I would SO name my daughter Gwendolyn. I am fervent in the hope that someone else I know uses this fabulous name, or perhaps we meet a Gwendolyn who would like to be our friend, so that I can have the pleasure of having a Gwendolyn in my life.

If it didn't sound like a cellular phone alternative (as in, sessile phone), or the German word for "armchair", I would name a son Cecil or a daughter Cecily.

If I didn't dislike the German pronunciation, I'd name a daughter Beatrix or Beatrice.

If it weren't for Aurora Avenue, Route 99 in Seattle, upon which ladies of the night and seedy motels are likely to be found, I would name a daughter Aurora. (Also, apparently this is the name Disney gave their Sleeping Beauty. But before the move to Seattle, I would still have been on board this lovely classical name no matter what Disney said.)

If it didn't sound way too similar to a name claimed by a family member for their future children, and also if it didn't sound like a boxing tribute, I would name my son Evander.

If I were a hipster, I'd name my daughters Ione or maybe Edith.

If I were a hipster married to a hippie, I'd name my daughter Flora.

If I were a hipster and it weren't for the Odd Couple and the muppet, I would name a son Oscar. If it also weren't for the Odd Couple and the X-rated cartoon, I'd name a son Felix.

If I were a jazz fan (hipster), I would name my son Thelonius. If I were fan of modern dance and the other Isa- names weren't so popular, I'd name my daughter Isadora.
If it weren't for the breakfast cereal "Crispix", I'd name my son Crispin.

If it weren't for the meaning of "corny", I'd name my son Cornelius.

If it weren't for the friendly bull, I would name a son Ferdinand. I still might, since I only think of it as a regal, fabulous name. As with Rudolph, this is an instance in which I would welcome advisement from people more firmly entrenched in an American cultural background.

If it weren't for the Simpsons and the Bible (in that order), I'd name my son Bartholomew.

If it weren't for the Peanuts and the operating system (not in that order), I'd name my son Linus.

If it weren't for the purple dinosaur, I'd name a son Barnaby.

If it weren't disliked by my spouse, I'd name a son Ambrose and a daughter Wilhelmina or Millicent or Harriet. But I think these might therefore be excellent names for cats (or goats or chickens), since the name "Alistair" had very much the same objections, and it ended up being a very fine name for an exceptional kitty. Likewise, I think Niles or Nigel are comparably firmly in cat territory for me.

If it weren't for Bill Cosby's "Fat Albert", I'd name my son, you got it, Albert. Or, if it weren't for the pasta sauce, I'd name my son Alfred. I am inordinately fond of all the "Al-" names, actually. If it weren't so indelibly linked to Mr. Laura Ingalls, I'd consider naming a son Almanzo. If it weren't for Harry Potter, I'd even consider Albus (and Percival and Oliver, too, actually). I love Alphonse, but it makes Stephanie laugh and say she vetos it even for a cat name, although she says, "I could be alright with it on a chicken". But we have found common ground in Aloysius, perhaps... though I rather think Stephanie is still discussing livestock!

If it didn't veer into matchy-matchy Forsyte Saga names territory with a brother named Jolyon, I'd at least consider naming my daughter Winifred. Or perhaps not.

If it weren't for a bad association with the root name, I'd name a daughter Rosalind.

If it weren't for the negative association from Maurice, one of my favorite romances, I would consider naming a son Clive.

If it weren't for its big popularity spike right now, I'd name a daughter Penelope. Particularly if I had a super-rocking Spanish last name.

If it weren't for the "randy" issue on top of the popularity, I'd name a daughter Miranda.

If the name did not already BELONG to the woman who organizes the Army Half Marathon with such incredible appropriateness, I might name my daughter Minerva. There's no way that a daughter that I would name Minerva would live up to the namesake nearly so well. Plus see also earlier post about Artemis and the "goddess names only work if my daughter is beautiful and confident" clause.

If it weren't for Mr. Stallone, and the fact that it's the German word for "New Year's Eve", I would totally name my son Sylvester. I do think we'd make an exception if our son was actually born on Silvester, though.

If it did not have such negative literary namesakes, I would name my son Tarquin.

If I were not for the Bible, the meaning of "breast", and also the nickname "Thad", I would name my son Thaddeus.

If I became truly demented at the prospect of having identical twin girls and all of my good sense and judgement went out the window, I would name my daughters Dorothea and Theodora. You know they'd have major issues developing individual identities, though, so that's a no.

If I were having a turn of the last century classical revival theme, on the other hand, I'd name my daughters Philomena and Alethea.

If it did not sound as though I had found it in an over-the-top (but awesome) fantasy novel (and correctly, because I did!), I would name a son Theron.

If it were not so popular, and also the name of Neville Longbottom's toad, I would name a son Trevor.

If we weren't already surrounded by many little Hazels, I would have considered naming a daughter that.

I really should want to name a daughter Matilda - on paper, it seems like it has all the criteria I'd want, but somehow, it does not enthuse me.

If it weren't a little bit extremely vanilla next to Jolyon and other names on our super-top-secret list, I would totally name a daughter Alice. It would be a great middle name contender except that _AG often spells bad things when you insert a consonant.

And that, is, I think actually the full extent of our reject list... for now, anyway. We'll certainly encounter other names that we love but don't make it onto our final keeper list, so there may someday be a sequel yet.