Insurance exam - results

In preparation for the life insurance exam, I had dieted like a madwoman, and additionally, selected the lighest clothing imaginable by careful scheming - yet another reason a food scale is useful. I did not have to contend with mere logic stating that a thong is lighter than a brief, I could empirically decide which thong is the lightest (it turns out mesh trumps smaller and strappier). I took a shower, shaved all of my body hair on the grounds that every bit helps, and then blow-dried my hair.

My weight was down to 172.6 on our scale that morning, so when dressed in my carefully selected lightest possible outfit, I weighed in officially at 173.8 during the life insurance exam. UNDER the cutoff of 175, in any case!

This was tremendously gratifying... right until I found out that Ephiny stepped on the scale and the insurance nurse said, "Oh, let's take off 5 lbs for your jeans." and then TOOK FIVE POUNDS OFF EPHINY'S ALREADY VERY TRIM WEIGHT. My exploration of the closet with my food scale leads me to believe there is no pair of jeans on the planet that is 5 lbs, not even if they are size 20 and encrusted in lead embroidery... and also, I totally have lost all trust in the system!

It's a good thing my blood pressure was taken BEFORE I found out about this. My blood pressure was 100/64 and 102/60 on the two iterations, prompting the nurse to ask if I was alive. So far, so good!

That meant I was poised to qualify for the lowest premiums provided that my cholesterol levels come back under 210. I was worried, because breastfeeding messes with ones lipid profile a good bit, so I'd strenuously avoided all dietary cholesterol and saturated fat amidst my careful dieting, which, to be honest, was way harder than the caloric restriction.

And, as it turns out, worth it. My cholesterol is well under the cutoff: 162 total! Higher than it was before I got pregnant (127) but still very much a nice respectable low level. VLDL was 10, LDL was 91, HDL was 61. My LDL/HDL ratio is 1.5, and my Total cholesterol/HDL ratio 2.7. Oh, and my Triglycerides were 49. All in all, RJ's cholesterol levels are not wonky because mine are over-the-top, which is reassuring because certain family members had made me a bit paranoid about whether or not my food source status could be impacting things. (It's not. He has screwed up bile all on his own, regardless of what he's eating.)

All of my liver enzymes are incidentally normal, too. GGT is 10. RJ, let that be an example to you.

Blood glucose was at the bottom end of the range at 60, which is also fabulous given that it's been a past concern.

The only thing outside the reference ranges was my urine creatinine, which was 262.8 (the reference range is 27.0-260.0). We'll see if I get penalized for that, but I'd think probably not. I fully expect to be declared in "ideal" health and eligible for the lowest life insurance premiums. Woo!