Appropriate praise

I was asked by a friend how having a little girl is different from having boys. My response: babies this age are not gendered. The only difference so far is in the diaper changes: there are more crevices to clean, but at least when she pees on the changing table it doesn't go all over me. 

The friend then commented that she realizes she tells little girls more often how cute they are, which is a problem I've seen discussed frequently. (Girls are praised for their appearance rather than for all their other excellent qualities.) I admit: I tell my baby that she's cute a lot. But I also tell my sons that they're cute a lot, and compliment them on their outfit selection - they always pick out their own clothes. So is it okay because I'm not treating them differently based on gender?

I've also read that it's important to praise children for working hard rather than being smart, because it prompts them to work at learning new things rather than giving up because they assume they're not smart enough. This is another one where I have to make an effort: "you've been doing such a great job learning your numbers!" rather than "you're so good at math!" The latter comes more naturally to me, but I recognize that the former is better.  

On a related note, Jolly can now do simple addition, and Rip can count to three. (He then goes directly to five, but refuses to acknowledge the existence of four.)  Tammy has learned how to get her hand into her mouth.