I think it focuses attention in a really uncomfortable way on genetic relationships, such that for the nongenetic parent it can be really excluding to witness, especially when the discussion of "nature" is not paired with an explicit acknowledgement of the "nurture" that a nongenetic parent is providing (such as by pointing out a personality or other trait shared).
So, I acknowledge I might be unusually sensitive, even when I'm on the other side of things this time around.
That said, I think that ANYONE who says the following to ANY woman who has given birth recently enough to still be sitting on a donut pillow should be aware that it's not particularly well-advised.
"Ooooooh, my goodness, look at his rolls of fat! LOOK AT THEM. And all those chins! I bet it will take you a long time to count that high, won't it, you chunky-wunkums! You are such a wobbly butterball of a baby, you enormously rolly polly pudgey-wudgy Rip! You could feed a small nation on those thighs. Seriously, I have never seen a baby this huuuuuuuge. He has morbidly obese hand rolls! I want to butter them and eat you up, you gloriously fat fat baby!
[beat]
Guinevere, he looks JUST EXAAAAACTLY LIKE YOU."
Seriously, how on earth is one meant to take that? And there I was, very happy to be celebrating 5 years of successfully maintaining a 70-lb weight loss, actually!
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Yeah, unusually sensitive. Mind you, I love it when I'm able to see resemblance between me and Ella, so I'm biased in the other direction. S knows perfectly well E looks nothing like her and she's not bothered, so I don't think comparison with me bothers here either. I guess given that E was the spit of James for a good two years, she had plenty of time to get used to it.
ReplyDeleteAnd R does look a lot like you, so there!