However, I know that other people really enjoy baby talk. And it's totally okay for other people to think that baby talk is cute and fun and bonding, or an integral part of childhood. Objectively, it is FINE: as my grandfather used to say, "de gustibus non est disputandum". It is decidedly not my cup of tea, and also not the tea-party with which I'm coparenting -- thankfully, because I think it would drive me bonkers if I had to spend a significant portion of the day listening to baby talk -- but I freely admit that this is a personal choice. There's more than one way to do it (in perl as in interacting with children).
Currently, my toddler who had previously been saying dinner, sandwich, dog, and brush with very crisp articulation has progressed to din-din, sammowich, doggie and brusha-brusha. I am coping with this. It is good and healthy for my child to have interactions with other people besides his parents, and I think our child will have a long career of doing things with the express purpose of driving his parents crazy and I'm sure what's coming down the pike on that front will make "want sammowich for din-din" pale in comparison. I will keep adamantly using the correct words, perhaps with a bit of silent teeth-clenching, but I won't pretend not to understand what my child means either (the way I do when he whines or refuses to say "please").
However, my grudging tolerance of nonsense words is limited to when they are actual nonsense words, and not words that already mean something else.
This has come up several times in recent months.
First: I feel an intense kinship for other parents who use the word "vulva" rather than misappropriating "vagina". If you want to call external lady parts a "hoo-ha" or a "private area" or a "lady taco" or whatever that is totally a-okay, but if you are using anatomical terms, you should really try to use the correct one. Vagina and vulva are not the same thing: one is okay and even desirable to wash with soap and dry off on a regular basis, as well as wiping when you go to the bathroom, and the other one should not. One is exposed when someone not wearing underpants is doing a cartwheel, the other would require a speculum. Seriously. If I said that I hope to sternum-feed my next baby, no one would know what I meant, and that's how it should be. Internal and external parts are fundamentally DIFFERENT, and that's why there are perfectly good dictionary words to describe them.
(Curious minds: Jolly has a penis and a scrotum, not a tinkle-dangle or a wee-wee.)
The second situation is best done in dramatic form. Envision an idyllic scene at the beach, with many families. Toddlers are wading about in the water, looking at crabs and tossing rocks into the gentle lapping waves. Because they are toddlers, there are snacks. And because they are toddlers and there are snacks, the snacks are being shared (everyone knows that food that comes from someone else's parent is way tastier).
Other parent: Can Jolly have a chippie?
Guinevere: Um, WHAT?
Other parent, brandishing bag of edamame snacks: These are really lovely chippies! [My son] adores them! I get them at Trader Joe's!
Guinevere: Uhm. I'm sure Jolly would love a CHIP, thanks!
Parent: Here, Jolly, have a chippie!
Jolly, brandishing chip: CHIPPIE!
Guinevere: *dies*
Parent, to me: Would you like a chippie, too?
Guinevere, still shocked: Er. No, thanks.
Here's what Miriam-Webster has to say about chippie, because I needed to check that there weren't other more innocuous meanings I was missing out on:
chip·pie
noun \ˈchi-pē\
plural chippies
Definition of CHIPPIE
: tramp, prostitute
Variants of CHIPPIE
chip·pie also chip·py
Examples of CHIPPIE
- detectives wanted to talk to the chippies who were regulars at the bar—to learn if they had seen anything.
Origin of CHIPPIE
origin unknown
First Known Use: 1886
(Note, just the one meaning! And it has nothing to do with flat pressed fried/baked flakes of potato/grain/edamame.)
This put me in several binds. Such as, how to make it through the afternoon without laughing hysterically as the word chippie was inappropriately used very consistently throughout (c.f. "Yay, chippies for everyone!" and "Look at those boys and their chippies!") The answer: discreet coughing fits and some eyebrow raising. Also, what to do about the desire to not have my child use vulgar words versus my desire to not to blow things out of proportion thus making them more appealing. I decided to ignore because if I made an issue of it, it would only reinforce my child's desire to say "chippie". This tack has been successful. Offering chips as chips at home has successfully extinguished the use of chippie... for now.
And it certainly put the mild teeth-clenching that happens over "doggie" into perspective.
But man, I had been thinking that worries about what happens if my son is offered a chippie could wait another decade or so.
So, parents who are into the baby talk: rock on with your sweetum-pookie selves. Just please check that by making a noun into a cute diminutive you aren't accidentally venturing into terribly inappropriate, very adult territory rather than baby talk. And if your vocabulary isn't that big, well, that's what the dictionary is for.
In closing, really want to emphasize that I do not want to rain on anyone's parade. I totally think it's absolutely okay for other people to enjoy the baby talk, even with my child. I just believe that responsible baby talk means not saying anything that would lead you to be mistaken for a pimp.
(And yes, this whole thing is an illustration of the fact that there very possibly is such a thing as an overly-big vocabulary.)
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